Sit, Watch and Wait: Facing The Unexpected

My mom lived through the Timberview Shooting that took place on Oct. 6. Just like everyone else, I always thought that could never happen to me or to anyone I loved until it did. Thankfully my mom made it out safely, but the effects of it impacted my life.   

The morning of the shooting I sat in my second period when I received a text from my mom saying “I have something to tell you and I don’t want you to freak out. We are in lockdown. A student has a gun.” My heart dropped as I read those words over and over again as if they would suddenly change. But they did not and as my classmates began to whisper it started to become real. 

Text messages from my friends started pouring in with so many questions that I knew I did not want to face the answers to. I did not want to accept the fact that my mom, my best friend and my rock, was inside the same building as the shooter. I wanted to put on a brave face for everyone around me but as the whispers turned into class discussions I could not help but begin to panic. I excused myself from the classroom to escape and attempt to control my mind that ran wild.

I had no destination in mind. I just knew I needed silence. As I walked the hall, I was quickly met by a friend who knew my mom worked at Timberview. On separate ends of the hallway, I was able to keep it together until we embraced in a hug. I just broke down into tears and finally admitted to myself that I felt scared. 

Updates from my mom continued and she told me she was in a closet with other staff and students. Knowing she was not alone and hiding brought the slightest bit of relief.

My English teacher found me and my friend in the hallway and allowed us into her classroom. She turned on the news and the three of us watched nervously as cops surrounded Timberview. I felt so helpless knowing that I could not do anything but sit, watch and wait.