7. Freedom Bear
If patriotism, cuteness, and Rambo had a baby, that baby would be Freedom Bear. Most people probably don’t know about Freedom Bear. Freedom Bear is a combo weapon people can create in the video game Dead Rising 2. Before people start saying that Freedom Bear has not been made yet let me assure everyone that he can be created. It would be simple really. Just hire a very smart person to put together a motion sensor, a giant robotic bear, two machine guns and a bandanna, then someone could own their own Freedom Bear.
Bear Grylls has become one of the most renowned survival experts in the past decade. He has been called “a natural born survivor”. Bear faces some of the world’s roughest terrains, but can he defend a home from a robber? Bear has killed, wild boars, elk, and highly dangerous snakes for his own survival; a robber should be no problem.
Their legitimate purpose for the past 100 years has been to stop things in their tracks, which they do very well. They are scary, dangerous, shiny and they work so they should stop a robber if their stupid enough to walk into it.
4. The Chicago Bears
What could be more perfect than a pro football team to keep robbers from breaking in people’s homes? Well the truly best asset would be the offensive line. Large men who are comparable to a herd of rhinos sitting in front of a house would scare away any robber. With The Chicago Bears around people can sleep safe.
3. Chuck Norris with bear paws
We can do anything with science now a days so lets make this happen. Chuck Norris has been borderline superhero all his life. Add bear paws to that amazing man and there will be a beard signal in the sky calling that majestic man to save the day. Got a robber in your house? Light up the beard signal, and let Chuck handle the rest.
What could be better to protect you than bears (provided they don’t eat you?) Some bears can get over 10 feet tall and weigh hundreds of pounds; the perfect defense. When the robber sees the bear horde sitting outside a home his first instinct will be to run. Unfortunately for him most bears can run over 30 miles per hour. Bears are a great defense, and they’re just so cute when they’re sleeping.
1. Ray Lewis
The only non-bear person/item on the list, and for good reason. Since being drafted by the Ravens in 1996, he has been selected to twelve Pro Bowls and named an Associated Press All-Pro ten times. He won the NFL Defensive Player of the Year in 2000 and 2003. He is the sixth player to win the award multiple times. He is also the second linebacker to win the Super Bowl Most Valuable Player Award and the first linebacker to win the award on the winning Super Bowl team. Widely considered to be among the best linebackers of all time, Lewis was ranked as the 18th best player in league history by the NFL Network in 2010. Basically he’s the most amazing person to ever walk this earth. He would get the job done easy.
