It’s the season of love and you need to pick a valentine. Need help? Here’s advice of what not to say when asking someone out:
1. Did you just break wind? Because you’re blowing me away. — Reason not to say: Fart jokes may always be funny, but they aren’t the most effective for picking people up for dates.
2. Have you been eating a lot? Because you’re looking beautiful. — Reason not to say: You don’t want to make a person feel self-conscience of their body figure. That’s wrong.
3. Let’s put tulips together and kiss. — Reason not to say: The only thing touching your lips after this is a fist.
4. If you were a booger, I’d pick you first. — Reason not to say: One word, gross.
5. Did you get hit in the head with a baseball? Because your head is looking swell. — Reason not to say: Making fun of someone’s body figure is not okay.
6. You know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n U. — Reason not to say: The only other menu you should should never mention on a date is the dollar menu.
7. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? — Reason not to say: Too cliche. Everyone and their great-great-great-great-great grandmother has heard this.
8. You’re going to jail for stealing my heart. — Reason not to say: Prison is not a pretty picture to paint in someone’s head.
9. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see. — Reason not to say: Tennessee is already made fun of enough.
10. Are you from Alaska? Because Alaska to kiss me. — Reason not to say: Never make fun of Alaska; it’s a scary place.
11. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together. — Reason not to say: Do you want some cheese spray on top of that cheesy pickup line?
12. Can I borrow a quarter? Because my mom told me to call home when I fall in love. — Reason not to say: Don’t ever bring your mom up in a pickup line.
13. Our long term relationship starts… *looks at watch* Now. — Reason not to say: You don’t want to look too creepy in front of people.
14. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again? — Reason not to say: You don’t want to be too arrogant when trying to pick someone up.
