Photo courtesy of Andrew Warren via Flickr

How to be a gentleman

Looks- Pay attention to appearance. Looks aren’t everything, but this is a clear representation of how you take care of yourself. Always try to look at least decent when you’re in public. Save the baggy sweatpants and stained hoodie for alone time at home.

Common Courtesy- Be courteous and respectful. Hold doors open for others and do small favors for anyone in need of a bit of extra help. Offer help without people asking for it first. Ask simple questions like, “how can I help you?”. Make people feel appreciated and cared for with, “how was your day?” and “how are you feeling” questions.

Conversations- When having a conversation, try not to direct the conversation toward controversial topics that may make the other person upset. Arguing and offending others is not a good way to get to know someone.

Self Control- Be polite and have self control. Avoid fights, both physical and verbal; learn to solve problems verbally. Keep the foul language to a minimum. It’s not attractive to see men speaking to anyone swearing up a storm. Don’t yell unless absolutely necessary. Being loud may get people’s attention, but not in the way you desire.

Chivalry- It is not necessary to put girls on a pedestal, but be kind and chivalrous to them. Go out of the way to help them if needed. Do not objectify women. Women are humans as well, not an object to be won or obtained.

Teasing- It’s okay to tease people, but don’t use teasing to demand things from others. Watch your tone and avoid harsh words. You never know when a particular phrase will hit someone’s insecurities.

How to be a lady

Self discovery- Always strive to be the best. Keep aiming higher. Change will never happen if effort is not put in.

Intellect– Act and think with intellect. Use tact. It’s okay for a woman to be smart and have a good education. Actually, it’s better than okay. Aim high, girls. Speak smart. Cussing is not classy or attractive.

Be knowledgeable- Know your surroundings and what’s going on in the world. Watch the news, read the paper and listen to what people are talking about. Be in the know.

Don’t gossip- Don’t be the girl that knows everyone’s business. Keep what people say a secret and don’t seek out hurtful gossip dealing with someone else. In fact, do the opposite. Praise people. If someone is deserving of a compliment, give it to them. Help to boost people’s’ self esteem.

Dress classy- Although a fancy white dress and feather boa aren’t necessary, wear clothes suitable for the situation. No, sweatpants, leggings, or booty shorts are not okay in public. Men are men, no matter how good of a person they are, it’s biological — they can’t help but pay attention to what is right in front of them. So don’t show it. You want men to see personality, not just physical appearance. Modesty, please.

Have conversations- Outgoing is a good characteristic to have, ladies. Strike up a conversation and don’t be afraid to answer someone who is just trying to make conversation. Brushing people off is rude.

Compliments- Don’t dig for complements. This shows insecurities and gives off a “self-centered” vibe. Instead, give compliments.

Mind Games- Don’t try to play mind games with guys. They are people too, they have feelings, and this can be extremely hurtful for both people involved.

Objectifications- Not all men see girls as objects- many guys respect girls, so don’t talk about guys the way they are stereotyped to be. Objectifying men is just as bad as it is when they objectify you.

Trust- Try to trust others. If they aren’t trustworthy, find people who are. Trust on both sides is essential for a good, healthy relationship.