When I was little, the world was a big and beautiful place. My future occupation changed almost weekly. I was going to be a teacher, then doctor, then professional dog-walker, though I remember wanting to be an artist the most. I really loved art class and would draw people in (what I considered) stylish clothing with terrifyingly huge heads. My mom would always tell me how great my artwork was and display my juvenile masterpieces on our cold white fridge for all to see. I could be whatever I wanted to be and my parents and teachers reminded me of that often.
When I got to be in intermediate and middle school, I was now set on being a fashion designer. I took sewing lessons and I got all the sketching and fabric supplies I needed to “practice.” I would wear my homemade clothing in public and spend days just writing down name ideas for my future brand. I watched Project Runway constantly. When anyone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, I would confidently say, “I’m going to California to study fashion,” followed by a huge grin on my face. But then, reality set in.
Around ninth grade, I was plunged head first into the so-called “real world.” Being a fashion designer was silly. It wasn’t practical. That won’t pay your bills. Do you know how few successful brands exist? Good luck.
And with every piece of negativity my dream job slowly dwindled away to nothing, and I was lost. For the first time in my life I had no idea what my future would look like. I didn’t know where to go and I didn’t know what I wanted to do. The big and beautiful world that I saw when I was little was now a frightening place filled with people that were drowning in debt living on unemployment, stressed out of their minds.
I’m a senior now and college proves to be the one thing I am for sure of (there was never really an option for me not to go). I chose UT Austin mostly based on the fact that I loved the city and the campus. I chose Advertising as my major because I looked at all the majors they offered and that one interested me that most. It would seem to others that I have my stuff figured out, but I still feel as terrified and lost as ever. Sure, I chose some things, but I’m still clueless. What if UT turns out to not be the right college for me? What if I’m really bad at everything related to advertising? What if I don’t get a good job, or hate my job? I know it sounds dramatic, but one wrong move seems like it could mess up my entire life.
It can be hard to know what you should do with your life. Sometimes it feels like a million people keep trying to give you advice. Family and friends constantly explain what major you would be good at or which college to go to or what job would make you the most money to “pay off all those student loans you’ll have.”
So for now, I have decided I’m going to breathe. I’m going to take these things as they come; day by day. I’m going to take everyone’s advice with a smile, but in the end I’m going to do what feels right to me. Maybe down the line I’ll realize I was actually meant to be an Artist-Teacher-Doctor-Professional-Dog-Walker-Fashion-Designer after all. The future may look like a huge blurry mess, but it still looks pretty bright.
