Perfection — it seems like everybody expects it and nobody knows how to achieve it. Most people strive for it with perfect hair, perfect grades, perfect personality and the list goes on and on. It can be so easy to forget no one can actually achieve perfection. Nevertheless, we must learn to accept people with their flaws.
I, like many kids, idolized and looked up to my parents above all else when I was younger. I knew my mother and father had their issues when they were together. They fought a lot, and honestly, when they split up, I was glad. Now that they are separate, there was no more fighting, at least that I could see, and I thought that was it. Now both of them were perfect.
Flash forward eight years to my final year of middle school. By then, my mother’s house became less strict and more lax in its rules compared to my dad’s house. I claimed my mother as my best friend and likened our relationship to that of Rory and Lorelai from Gilmore Girls. Even when she made mistakes, I still thought she was perfect.
Once high school began, some of the faults I had ignored began to stick out to me. After looking up to her for as long as I had, I became bitter toward her when I started recognizing her faults even though they weren’t that bad. She was late to things consistently, and she would act immature when dealing with important topics. Though they seemed horrible at the time, they were simple, insignificant ‘issues’ that only stuck out to me because of the standard I had held her to previously.
Maybe I disagreed with something she said, or was annoyed by something she had done, or maybe I felt like she wasn’t doing something correctly. There were so many little things that began to bug me. And over these insignificant ‘problems,’ I would start fights with her every weekend I was at her house. Now that I realize none of our fights were truly about her, I consistently find myself regretting all the precious moments I wasted fighting with her over nothing.
Looking back on it, I have realized it’s not only irrational but also just plain mean to expect perfection from anyone, no matter the circumstance. It’s important to learn to love people with their flaws before you end up like me and begin damaging your relationship with someone you care about.
