Every year, high school seniors all over the country know the feeling. The feeling of wonder. Wondering if you’ll get accepted into the colleges you applied to. Wondering which college you’ll end up going to. Wondering what the future holds. I know this feeling way too well, while some of my friends have already decided what college they’re going to, I still have no idea. But that’s okay.

I didn’t think I would be this person. I thought I would have everything planned out, but I don’t. I have applied to five colleges, I have already gotten accepted into one of them. I am still waiting to hear back from the other four. Waiting to hear back from a college might be the most stressful thing. It’s not just finding out what college you’ll go to, it’s determining your future.

Freshman year, I was sure Texas A&M would be the school for me. Things changed throughout high school. A&M still lingered in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t my top priority. High school flew by and senior year came, the endless waves of college applications began. Of course I was going to apply to A&M, but I was scared. Scared of rejection.

I’m terrified of receiving a rejection letter from any college, but especially from A&M. Both my parents went to A&M, and they dreamed of their daughter going to their alma mater. If I don’t get in, I’ll feel like I failed myself and my parents. I’ve worked hard throughout my high school career, but I always think I could’ve worked harder.

I’ve stayed up many nights studying, I’ve stayed before and after school for tutoring, I’ve taken AP and dual credit classes, but yet I’m not in the top 10% percent of my class. It’s discouraging because if I was, I would receive automatic acceptance into A&M. I know I could’ve worked harder. I could’ve studied more, asked more questions, taken more AP classes, but it’s too late now.

I’ve talked to people who are currently in college and they all say the same thing: you’ll end up where you are meant to end up at. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. As cheesy and cliche as it sounds, I need to follow my heart.

I know it will all work out in the end. I’ve learned recently you don’t have to have your whole life planned out. Maybe I’ll go out of state for college or maybe I’ll stay in Texas. Not knowing where I’ll be in a year from now is terrifying, but so exciting at the same time.