This is not going to be a story about how much I hate Valentine’s Day. I do not hate Valentine’s Day. That would be too easy. If I hated Valentine’s Day, it would be easy to ignore it. I could simply write it off as a money-making scheme created by the candy and greeting card companies to make money, as so many do. But that would be cynical, and I believe one must avoid cynicism, whenever possible. The truth is I’m a fan of Valentine’s Day. The trouble is it’s rarely been a holiday that’s called upon me to celebrate it.
This is not going to be a story about how I never have a girlfriend; I am not going whine about or mock my own shortcomings, be it lack of good looks or my now trademark awkwardness. A year, maybe even a few months ago, this would’ve been the case. I would have crafted a “poor me” tale about how even though I’m a nice guy that means well, I never end up on the winning end, especially when it comes to girls. But that is not what I am going to do with this story. I believe I have moved beyond self-deprecation as a means of self-defense.
This Valentine’s Day I have come to several conclusions that may have been obvious for a long while, but have just now become apparent to me. One of those conclusions, in fact the major one, is that I am awesome. I have a terrific sense of humor; witty without being alienating, sharp without ever coming off as mean. (Well, sometimes it can come off as mean, but it’s never intentional.) I have a great head on my shoulders, and if I put my nose to the grindstone and choose not to quit after my first failures, there’s little I won’t be able to accomplish, as long as it doesn’t involve math.
I am surrounded by love. I have amazing friends; loyal, odd and endlessly fascinating. And I am a great friend to them. I help them, I make them feel better about themselves, and I brighten their day whenever possible. I say this not to be boastful I have many faults as well; I am deeply insecure. I always assume people are saying nasty things about me behind their back and when someone tells me they’re too busy to do something with me, I always assume they’re lying. I never assume someone likes me until I actually hear them say it, and even then I assume they’re just saying that to be polite.
These faults become even more defined when it comes to courtship. I am absolute rubbish when it comes to flirting with girls, I become paranoid and pessimistic and often times I can cause a relationship to implode before it even exists. But I believe I will become better, because ultimately I believe in myself. I know that I am at root, a wholly worthwhile human; I have accomplished a great deal in my short time on Earth. Very little of those accomplishments fall under the category of romance, but I refuse to let that deflate or negate everything else I have done. I can’t do that to myself anymore. I won’t. Because this past year I have discovered someone whom at first I thought to be ugly, useless and altogether reproachful, but is actually, ego in check, not half bad. This person is me.
moose • Feb 17, 2010 at 11:18 am
I’m going to miss you when you venture off into your college years Nickolas. We have some of the most ridiculous inside jokes, and they make my heart warm. I don’t usually say this because it’s corny and often overused, but, you’re going to do great things one day my friend. And when you do, where ever I am at that point I’ll say, “That guy was one of my really good friends.” Even if no one belives me because you’re so famous. haha I love you Nickolas. elhhhh *Templeton the rat noise* haha
Caleb Gutierrez • Feb 11, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Good Man! I don’t care what anybody says Nick!
Sophie Smith • Feb 11, 2010 at 8:52 am
I love you Nick!
Wyatt Zalatoris • Feb 10, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Nick, you’re probably one of the coolest guys I know. You’re funny, you’re smart, and you’re a lot of fun to hang out with during the things we’ve been in together. Also, you stand up for what is right, no matter how trivial something may be, you’ll do what you’re supposed to do. Like the other day at rehearsal. Hunter laughed at me for not knowing the song that you were singing and you told him to not be such a snob. It made me laugh and it made me realize that your an awesome guy. Keep rockin journalism, theatre and improv.
Russell Kirby • Feb 10, 2010 at 8:14 pm
*applause*