Hi, my name is Jasmine McMasters. I was named after my great uncle, James Randall, as was my dad and brother. Along with my mom and sister, my middle name is Delilah, taken from my great-great-grandmother’s title. It’s a pretty heavy name to bear, supporting legacies from both sides of the family. To make matters worse, my name doesn’t adapt well to any nicknames, other than the obvious “Jas”, which many have attempted but never successfully created a habit of calling me.

Besides the endearingly cheesy “Jasbo” my mom calls me (taken from the pet name, “Jimbo”), I’ve never had an alternative name. That was before AP Studio Art though, in which an onslaught of new nicknames were fabricated for me, half of them not praise-worthy, and the other half too inappropriate to list off. Here are the originals though, the gateway nicknames that led to other, crazier titles down the road.

1)      Broomstick – Dating back to junior year, Broomstick started from a friend’s snide comment that my obnoxiously curly hair resembled the end of a broom. Since then it has mostly lost its popularity in favor of more catchy names, but still makes guest appearances, especially on those days when my hair is looking particularly like it was brushed with an egg beater.

2)      JBro – Coined from a substitute teacher’s mispronunciation of “Jasbo”, JBro at first was Jasbro. Eventually the “Jas” got left behind and JBro was born. Taking on many cliché variations over the past year (JBroski, JBroseph, JBroho) as well as many inappropriate spins. JBro remains a classic to all quasi-frat boys of Legacy.

3)      Grandma – This year many great things took place, but for every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. Grandma is a nickname I begrudgingly accept, but that’s only because its now too much of a habit to answer to it. Created in the first month of the school year, Grandma quickly spread throughout my friend base, but it didn’t stop there. Not only do I have teachers refer to me as Grandma, but Mr. Mason even went as far as to title one of my paintings “The Grandma Effect” before submitting it into a competition. I’ve never approved of Grandma, never given anyone permission to call me such, but nevertheless it’s the most popular of all my nicknames.

4)      G-Ma – With emphasis on the “G”, G-Ma has served as an abbreviated version of Grandma, but with a more awesome connotation. Though I don’t wholeheartedly advocate this one either, it is slightly more favorable in opposition to Grandma seeing as it’s almost a compliment. Almost. Not really.

5)      JMAC – The most recent nickname and probably  the most obviously appropriate, I don’t really know why it took until this past week for someone to finally come up with what had been phonetically ignored for the past four years. My brother’s nickname is Mac, we’re both named after the same person, so why not stick a “J” in front and call it done? I don’t know either. I actually like this one, it’s not derogatory or implying that I’m one with the elderly at all. Simple and true to my initials, I can only hope it will replace any of the above in a matter of time.

I can’t decide which was worse, growing up with no shortened version of my name, or waiting until my high school years to be nicknamed by a group of teenagers. Despite my disdain, I will answer to any of these, as well as any creative spins on them, but for the sake of my ego, let’s try to keep all new nicknames at a 60 and under titling for the love of all things youthful in the world.