It was a website on his phone, not a ring shop, but ring shops are stressful – they make the shopping feel too real, especially when talking to a consultant – so my brother came to me instead of asking any other girl he knows. Looking for rings is just as stressful for me as it is for my brother, but for completely different reasons. For me it feels like he’s starting to take steps towards what he wants to do in life, which was always a problem for him. I know he’s nervous about this because it is a huge step forward and feels like he finally has his life somewhat together. He’s loved this girl more than any girl he’s dated before and if she says yes then I know he’ll be the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
My brother and I haven’t always gotten along. We have the typical sibling relationship with “you made me mad so now we’re fighting for two days,” and both of us think the rules that the other has leniency on or doesn’t even have to follow are unfair. Other than that we have a great relationship.
My brother had a few girlfriends that were serious enough for me or my family to meet, some I liked, some I met by accident and some I didn’t like. The girl he’s dating now is my favorite by far. We met when he just decided to bring her over for fathers day dinner before any of us were even told about her, but she played it off. She’s a people person in the best way and she was sociable to my family from the start.
My brother and I are similar because we have mimicked how our parents are, especially when they’re mad at each other rather than happy, which caused multiple problems between us. One of the biggest instances being with one of the rules we have: If you’re dating someone, you can’t be in the same room alone with your significant other. My brother and I both have rooms upstairs in our house, meaning that when his girlfriend comes over, they can only be upstairs if I am too. He doesn’t like having his little sister upstairs with him and his girlfriend, with the door open, forced to go downstairs if I want to go.
All of this led to the pure shock I felt when he came up to me and asked me for my opinion of rings. I mean, I have my opinions with just the price, my brother was never good at saving money, which is needed to buy a nice ring, especially an engagement ring. Thankfully he’s not looking at super expensive rings, and is looking at rings she would actually like. Her favorite metal is true gold which I have reminded him about when he was looking at pale gold, and while he doesn’t know her favored shape we agreed that square cut would fit her the most.
There are a few things that my brother’s not prepared for when it comes to living with a girl which he is slowly figuring out as we look for rings together, through either my comments or things he’s noticed I do subconsciously. He’s brought it up a few times to which my parents have to explain that it’s just something girls do. Sometimes he’ll drop it and sometimes he’ll make snarky remarks, which makes me excited that there will finally be another girl in his life. He can finally stop complaining about the problems that come with living with one. In the past, he has gotten mad at how much space on the bathroom counter I take up and how much space in the shower I take up – even though I take up less space then him. Knowing that he will learn that this is just what happens when you live with a girl over the age of 14 feels like a huge breath of fresh air.
My brother and I have our own ideas of a “perfect” engagement, which are very different, because I’m focusing on what his girlfriend would like, whereas he’s just not. We butt heads at that front, just like everything else, but I believe in him and think that he will create the perfect plan.
As of now he’s still looking at rings, asking for my opinion on them and we go from there. I hope she says yes, and I know he hopes she says yes, but only the future can tell. I just hope it’s bright for him.
