How to Adult: Being Single on Valentine’s Day

Learn why being alone on a day of love might not be a bad thing.

Learn why being alone on a day of love might not be a bad thing.

Melissa De La Cruz, Staff Writer

The almighty day of romance: Valentines Day, leaving you broke, making you fat and breaking your heart. Classic holiday fun. Listen here, nobody’s saying sharing love isn’t nice, but at what cost? Stressing out over earrings and fitting into a dress that’s still too tight after two months of only eating one meal a day simply isn’t cutting it anymore. It’s time to think about yourself and the advantages to being single on Valentines Day.

 

You don’t need to spend money
Let’s face it. Things cost money. The chances of finding a sales person handing out free Gucci bags at the mall range from slim to none. As young love has an uprising, surprisingly being broke does too. Being single may have its downs but being being broke leaves you homeless.

Makeup is Expensive and Gives you Acne
If you suffer from lack of cash and pus-filled pimples being single on Valentine’s day works miracles for you. This treatment consists of saving that $250.00 Cle De Peau Beaute foundation that cost you sweat and tears for a better occasion, as well as not clogging your pores to worsen that magnificent acne on oily skin.

A Motive to Binge
Any other day binging helps as a way to kill time and die of boredom. That simply isn’t the case on Valentine’s Day. See on Valentine’s Day people go out and eat overpriced salads as a sign of love and affection for that significant other. Quite odd demonstrations of love can be dodged with a single motive called binging.

Everything has Discounts
By now you have seen the massive, overly-exaggerated teddy bears and overpriced red roses. So if you’re feeling lonely and subconscious about not receiving anything on Valentine’s day, don’t. Remember, the next day, everything has discounts and saving money tastes more delicious than any chocolate could.

Surprisingly, Disgusting Candy DOES Exist
Do you know what doesn’t taste delicious? Disgusting candy. When your significant other hands you a very lovely box of Sweethearts that taste like disgusting pieces of chalk, the aftermath is horrific once you’re obligated to eat them with a smile on your face. However, if you can treat yourself to better, then never settle for less. It’s not worth it, keep your tasting senses.

The Unbearable Heartbreak
It’s not easy looking someone in the eye and dumping their sweet cheeks for no particular reason. At least 47 percent of people break up in person and 30 percent via telephone, but of course none of that matters once they’ve already moved on from you before breaking up with you. The unbearable heartbreak is overrated and quite frankly, pretty inconvenient. Valentine’s day should be a love yourself day, not I-can’t-believe-I-wasted-three-years-on-you day.